It is true that there are many momentous and important things going on in the world which we must strive to be part of, to bring good things and legacy for the childrens, et cetera. But this post is a soul cry from someone who spends entirely too much of her time online. What's up with the sexist discrimination of phishing?
Ever since I was a not-so-young woman with an internet account, I have hoped and dreamed that some gorgeous deposed prince from, eh, anywhere but Nigeria might send me a note asking him to help him save his millions. Well, his billions really because: inflation. Not asking for much, folks, just a chiseled jaw and some completely unbelievable romantic lines. Maybe the promise of a yacht trip in the around the Mediteranean sea to motivate me. The Atlantic is too laden with history, the Indian is too familiar and nobody in her right mind trusts that misnamed Pacific.
But, nope. All I ever get in my Facebook account, since I started employing the block on my email accounts, is a series of ambiguous hellos from girlchildren. It doesn't make me want to be their friend, it makes me want to feed them a good hot meal and then lecture them about feminism. At length.
I cried out my troubles to a good friend, whose response was "Ugh, get over yourself. Even if they put cute dudes out as bait, the chances of catching the account number of a cisgendered female -ist like you are basically slim to none. Besides, cute dudes are still be bait for horny middle-aged men. Which is kinda the point. Nobody gives as much as a horny middle-aged man. Besides, you are poor, you're just gonna have to embrace the notion of free sex like the rest of us. Pass me the coleslaw."
Well, it's just not right. Discrimination in all its forms should be fought and I am offended that even the phishing industry is pandering to horny middle-age men. Why is it okay for straight women to be underserved? Why should anyone be underserved at all! I am outraged by this, and if you are too because you'd rather be conned out of your life savings by some seriously handsome, age-appropriate fantasy, well then join my march.
Phishing For All! Let the beautiful world of wallet-invasion by insincere emotion reflect all of our sexualities, all of our neuroses, and all of our diversity. Nigerian princes need not apply, deposed or otherwise.
