Wrapping Up October

I haven't had this good a day since I managed to buy The Perfect Car, which was months ago. Yes, that introductory sentence is by way of apology for a grim and deep month-long silence. Apologies to the two readers of the blog. Life happens sometimes, and how.

There are recipes and pictures piled up in the Sony Cyber-Shot. There are overdue tales of political woe, and political triumph. There are heart-warming stories of kitty behavior, and project plans for the Perfect Paradisical Garden Of Eden. But after not blogging for a month, why faff around?
It has been a perfect day. I heard from long-lost friends. I got my superb laptop back from a 9-month gestation in warranty-land. I got a free toy, and I got paid before the end of the month. That's right: before. I had a glass of wine with my father in a library garden. I even got new glasses. I am at a point in the year when any one of these things is good enough to boost me into the outer stratosphere of that rare commodity: joy. None of this compares, however, to the excitement of the recent arrival. I have a new niece, a healthy girl. Children are precious. so, so, so. Welcome, beloved. Welcome, Van. Happy Birthday.
Just to finish off some pending business, because I know how excited you all are to find out the results of JADIP's Political Babe Poll, here goes: Anna Makinda is the Queen Bee. She's the Deputy Speaker of the Parliament of the United Republic of Tanzania for those of you who were wondering. JADIP-SRD offers all the usual thanks to the voter who involved herself in this massively impotent piece of research: way to rock the vote.
Speaking of which, there is a good supply of Tanzania For Obama t-shirts available through a friend, so all collectors of political art/Tanzanians who wish they could vote but can't should let me know if I should hook them up with my man Zachary. Let me cap it here. I am pushing the tyre of development (direct translation) and I hope you are well too. I know its not Friday yet, technically, but here goes: Have a precious, perfect, ten-toes, ten-fingers, top-of-the-lungs weekend.

BTW

Silent Readership: Forgot to tell you that the voting is open until mid-October and you actually have to go to the blog to vote. Yes, the blog, not your inbox, is where the poll resides. Click away!

Who Is the Fairest (Toughest and Smartest) of Them All?

Last week was the first I heard about the upcoming UWT-CCM elections when the local papers covered an internal tussle. Umoja wa Wanawake Tanzania...ahem. I think it was the Chadema women's wing leader who pointed out that the name was perhaps a bit inappropriate as they cannot be said to represent all the women in the country. Damn straight.

Anywho, it got me thinking again about the long-overdue poll about Government Babes. Unlike Government Dudes, our women in leadership rarely have the oppotunity to get by on skill, let alone charisma. It usually takes most of them a hell of a lot more work than that. In light of the uneven playing field, the JADIP-SRD lab has been working hard at three variables that, when combined, yield something similar in a not-really kind of way to the Ken Doll measure that was used for the male leadership. These are:

1. Penis Capital: contribution of high-profile male spouse/lover to political credibility and power.
2. Grrl Power: personal competence and leadership style.
3. Hot Mama Points: degree of feminine sexual appeal/charisma exhibited in personal style.

Thus, 1+2+3= Who Is Your Mama?

To give some guidance, the outgoing UWT Chairwoman Ms. Anna Abdallah had very high Penis Capital, relatively decent Grrrl Power and negative Hot Mama points throughout her long career. In contrast, the late Amina Chifupa had low Penis Capital (although that depends on whom you ask), very high Grrl Power and pretty high Hot Mama Points.

In order not to bias the poll more than strictly necessary, JADIP-SRD has refrained from giving the variables negative or positive values. Candidates should have been selected from the executive branch only in order to make the poll as similar to the Government Dude poll as possible, but the JADIP-SRD committee voted to expand the criteria kidogo because our lady ministers have an uncanny similarity of features in their opinion.

Becoming an Apologist for The Establishment

I was having a delicious discussion the other day - one of those where you start out with the problems of power provision and end up dissecting the political nature of the country- and I found myself more often than not defending the Establishment and its current manifestation. Please, don't swallow your tongue in shock, there is a simple explanation: I have gone conservative. Now that I have to care about little things like the price of land/real estate, general security, a relatively stable economy, investment opportunities and blah blah blah it makes sense to appreciate a system that generally 'works' for me.

Also, the long and sustained cynicism about the current administration has fatigued me: it is getting in the way of our basic appreciation. Oh, I know. Don't bother quoting GDP per capita figures, income inequality data, tossing corruption dossiers at me or asking whom the system 'works' for. The list of things that could be improved is as long as the line-up of reformers who have one thousand and one reasons why they are smarter, more ethical and better suited to run Tanzania than the incumbent. Guess what though my darlings: most of you barely have to run your families, let alone a leviathan of a social construct called a country filled with a few million people who think they depend on you personally for their well-being.

With that kind of pressure , navigating the various tensions and schisms that threaten Tanzanian stability all time is not exactly an idiot's job, nor is it a one-man show. The very fact that we function at all after barely half a century of "self rule" is evidence to me of a pretty effective system. I was accused of being Machiavellan in my thinking because I mentioned that sometimes small injustices (i.e. human rights abuses) are often committed for the 'greater good'. This is not entirely accurate: what I believe is that in order for us to enjoy our current stability and relative success as a nation-state, Tanzania's leaders have done a few unsavory things in the past. People have paid, and others continue to pay, sometimes in blood, for what we are today. Let us not forget that as we sip our Safaris in present-day comfort and malign our idiot leaders.

The main reason I have become an apologist for the current government is pretty simple: I think that there is evidence of a genuine desire on the part of Jay to the Kay to open up the Establishment a little bit, and to break with our oppressive past. It takes some doing to redirect this behemoth from its centralized, repressive tendencies to something a little more amenable to individual rights, social justice and prosperity. Every time there is a protest, or a politician exposes malfeasance, or a newspaper sticks its pen in the eye of the government, I get a thrill. We are finally becoming the kind of place where citizens can express dissatisfaction thanks to the attitude of the current administration. This is not a development I am inclined to take for granted.

So while I have no intention of giving the Party or its Government an easy time, you better believe I am not about to throw the baby out with the bathwater either. And that is how one becomes a (not-so-closet) apologist for the Establishment. Give me enough time, I might become more Catholic than the Pope...

A matter of juice

Whew, the blog done got away from me again- it is September already and the entry numbers are steadily crashing with every new month. There is no shortage of material to write about and no shortage of time in which to do it but there is a severe shortage of writing juice. Now it is all growing into a monster ball of unwritten ideas looming over me, growing day by day, blogdeath creeping closer and closer...I don't how this stuff happens. A whole bunch of entries are fidgeting in the departure lounge of my mind, desperately bored with the paperback selection, wandering up to the reception counter to ask whether its going to take much longer. I don't have the heart to tell some of them that their flights have been permanently cancelled. But here's a three-for-one entry today.

Politics: Boring. The PM gave his Richmond progress report, it was brief and circumspect, nothing new there. EPA. Richmond. Zanzibar. Whatever. Maybe the Tarime elections coming soon will provide some entertainment although there is a worrying tendency to wield weaponry out there...

Food: Ratatouille goes really really well with fried fish. I tried out a slow-cook method shown to be my a friend who learned it in gay Paris and it was delicieux. Eggplants are wonderful, magical fruits but combined with peppers and herbs and tomatoes and a long slow simmer...well. It is no wonder they named a movie after that dish. But you know, it could just easily have been called Tarte Tatin. Or maybe Quiche Lorraine. Or Soupe a l'Onion...maybe not that last.

Other stuff: Crazy Pet Lady has flounced off to colder climes to practice her seductive wiles on Nordic men. So while we wait for her return from adventures in elk-stalking and snowboarding, we have been charged with the care of her ill-tempered tomcat. Bliss because pets= immediate stress therapy. I think I only have two deep scratches so far on my right hand- the hand that he considers one of his favorite items to 'kill' during playtime.

We also got left with internet and satellite television (which I have been mightily resisting in spite of La Dee's campaign). The seductive evils of Devil Satellite Tele-Visitation have proved themselves: yesterday a long run of Top Gear followed by Judge John Deed saw me couch-surf for at least 8 hours in a row. Help. Help me please.

Exit from the Bimbo Bin

It was around the time of the PM resignation/cabinet reshuffle in February that the first signs of doom started to dog the Fourth Administration. The magic duo of Kikwete and Lowassa was broken up, what was the world coming to? Then Jay Kay quietly appointed a new team of ministers and business went on as usual, more or less, in time for President Bush to come by and say Howdy Y'all. Jaws of Defeat: zero, Victory Snatched: One.

Never one to give up, much of the press along with the perpetual opposition went on foretelling Kikwete's demise Any Time Now. It would be precipitated by Buzwagi, by the Muafaka mess, by the Muungano debate, by the death of Ballali, by the lack of action on EPA, by the silence on Richmond, by by by...I fell into step and was convinced that the end was nigh when Jay Kay gave his end of the month address in July, spending more time explaining his absence than commenting on the burning issues of the day.

Silly me. I forgot a couple of things: that our incumbent has been in the system since he was yea high and thus knows what's up better than we give him credit for. I also forgot that his pleasant demeanour is only the thin layer that sweetens his driving ambition to rule this country (as benevolently as he can manage). This is the guy who introduced the idea of effectiveness to our indolent executive through the use of reward (Ngurudoto workshops) and punishment (surprise visits culminating in instant job terminations).

Today, he pulled a new rabbit out of his hat: the mid-term parliamentary address. Another Fourth Administration innovation, and far less detrimental to the President than the live press conference of early days. It took him a few hours, and aside from the excessive gratitude (really, must he thank everyone and their grandma during state addresses?), turned out to be quite an impressive effort. Not to mention his exquisite timing yet again: he quelled an imminient strike, EPA speculation and the Zanzibar debate in one fell swoop.

In light of this, it seems churlish to claim any longer that Tanzanians made a mistake choosing Kikwete. He's the compromize guy, Mr. Don't Shake The Boat, Mr. Cross The River One Stone At a Time, Mr. Make it Work, and he does what he does very well. We Paradisans claim that we want immediate and explosive change, we think that we can get away forever with immature expectations of our government (that it can control the price of petrol, that every youth will be employed today). In truth most of us are far too comfortable to put up with anything that would disrupt our peaceful lives... although we insisted on the Zanzibar debate as though we don't know this could lead to blood on the streets. Wabongo bwana.

So sure: Jay Kay could have dramatically fired some people over EPA and Richmond as he did with the late Ballali. He could have sacrificed more public servants on the altar of public opinion, due process be damned. He could have gone head to head with his detractors and entered a shouting match. He could have done any number of reactive, shallow, expedient things. Instead he snapped on his pink soft-power tie, polished his smile and spent the day presenting his government's official progress report. Jaws of Defeat: zero, Victory Snatched: Two.

I will not be joining the Party (ptuh! ptuh! ptuh!), nor will I be less cynical about The Establishment. I will, however, give Handsome Boy his respect by taking him out of the Bimbo Bin. I think he has finally, finally earned it.

Making Stock, Taking Stock

The chicken carcass had been sitting in the fridge for three days so it seemed like the right day to make stock. Not to mention the crushing exhaustion that has been dogging me for months now demanded a little R&R if I had any hope of making the Weekly Deadline From Hell, and the packet of Tanga Fresh buttermilk in the fridge was posing a direct challenge to me: Palak Paneer. Tying it all together neatly was the borrowed copy of The Black Swan that I had started reading late last night to combat insomnia.

The Stock: One chicken carcass left over after feeding a hungry Midwest American dude last Wednesday+ One quartered red onion+ one quartered carrot+ teespoon dry sage. Boil until reduced, top with cold water, rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat, strain of final goodness into container for refrigeration. It turned out better than my last stock, must say, and had less icky chicken fat to strain out (what do they feed those animals?!). The meat from the carcass made a nice chicken salad brunch.

The Cheese: One packet of Tanga Fresh Mtindi+half teaspoon of sea salt. Bring to the boil, simmer for about ten minutes whtout stirring so the curds don't get too skinny. Strain to separate curds and whey, sit on your tuffet and eat. But if you want to make paneer, save curds in little tupperware container and refrigerate. Google what to do with whey, or just drink it with a pure water chaser like I did.

The Book*: Suh-weet. As your truly is undergoing a sort of personal renaissance, it has been interesting to see what grabs me in the stuff i have been reading and re-reading. This pop-philosophy book is a good one, but I will not deny that I am enjoying it for probably all of the wrong reasons: i like the author's mischief, i find the independence of thinking inspiring, the new information exhilarating if obscure, the language delicious. But I am nowhere near intellectually rigorous enough to truly understand what he is saying, especially when we get into the empirical stuff (i am unapologetically intuitive). I get it, but not in any directly applicable way. I will need to read this one a few times, maybe get one of the economists in my life to break it down for me.

What I am really reading the book for is in fact the snippets of autobiography that the author has included in the book for context. This self-professed Levantine's recollections of his childhood and the development of a sense of self, identity and agency were definitely not of the garden-variety- and I loved them.

*The Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. What's on your bedside table?

A Bevy of Beautiful Brides

I was at St. Joe's yesterday attending the wedding of a friend's sister (lovely ceremony if a little stiff) and generally having a nice socially-constructive networking moment. Made cooing noises at the aunties, sucked up to the old folks, tickled my friends' dimples, et cetera, as one does. As we left the Society Wedding Du Weekend, about four other couples whose (simultaneous) vows had been held up by our semi-enthusiastic hymn-singing had to rush by to get into the church on time. I sorely regret not having had a camera to catch it- there is nothing quite like nearly getting trampled by a bride (or four) and her wedding party. Therein lies a potential, if non-traditional measure of Tanzanian social stratification: the ability to afford a personal morning wedding at the Cathedral. Well, for the Catholics anyways.

La Dee and I (mostly I) had to medicate the effects of so much socially-appropriate behavior with a drink at the Movenpick gardens. There we also got to observe peacocks- the animal and human varieties- display their tails in the tranquil evening sun.