The King's Diary: International Business

Dear Me

So nice to be around peers. I love coming to the Secluded Kingdom. Good wine, powerful company and BIG money. The mountain air does me well. I’m in such a good mood, I even allowed myself to divulge in charity.

Yesterday I met the Leader from the Island Kingdom. He assured me of his continued support. I wished he had left it at that. But he continued to waffle about value for money and even ... climate change. Adapt or perish I believe he said! How hard it was to keep a straight face. As if climate change is on my list of things to worry about! Leadership change, maybe. But climate change?

Still, I believe I managed to make a somewhat intelligible remark stating that I would probably be a first victim of rising sea levels as my palace is close to the ocean’s shore. I pulled it off and money will continue to flow. That is what matters really.

Speaking of money, the elections were so costly that we are out of cash. Two weeks ago I ordered the Ministry of Finance to send a letter to the representatives of Great Nations requesting for additional funds. Today provides an opportunity to reiterate my request. To soften the minds, I will demonstrate what a responsible international player the Kingdom is. I’ll make some goodwill gestures. Maybe by stating that the Serengeti highway will not harm wildlife. And, I could agree to discuss setting up a court to try pirates.

To top it all up, I’ll ask my secretary to book a stop-over in one of the Evil Nuclear Nations. With the newly discovered uranium reserves, it will send a clear message that I am not just begging for money; I mean business.

January 31, 2011