The Weekly Sneak: Cooking Men

Here is the theory: four weeks in a month, four columns. Makes it ideal for a rotation across three or four focus areas: one political piece a month, one social commentary, one feminist and one for whatever burning issue has been hitting the headlines that month. The reality goes more like this: staring at the screen, sifting through half-finished word documents hoping for inspiration, and a lot of hand-wringing. Last night in the wee hours I was staring at a document that had the word "tanesco" on it only to realize that writing that piece would rob me of the will to live. So I gave myself permission to have fun. Coming soon to an East African near you:

... on the opposite end of the spectrum the forces of African conservative fundamentalism are horrified by this creeping trend: a man, a self-respecting African man, in the kitchen? Good grief. What will these insufferable liberals ask for next! Equal opportunities and basic human rights for all? The world is going straight to hell in a kikapu. They are right to be scared, I am afraid. The world as we have known it for generations is going to hell in a finely handcrafted vessel made of sustainable organic local materials. And I, for one, am happily waving it on its journey to oblivion.

I have been neglecting the feminist discussion on the blog, as someone pointed out recently. Time to go back to my roots. Also, I might have been listening to James Brown's "This Is a Man's World" on high rotation for a couple of hours. It is a man's world, yes it is. But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing, without...

Tanzania Blog Awards 2011: Voting Has Started

Voting for your favorite blogs for The Tanzania Blog Awards 2011 has started. Be sure to show some love to the folks who you read and make some bloggers very happy. Voting closes on the 9th of July.

The King's Diary: Allowances Rock.

Dear Me:

With great bemusement do I follow the debate about allowances in Parliament. So much ado about nothing!

Widespread reliance on allowances is a cornerstone of the TKP’s rule. The ability to hand out allowances at will creates loyalty. Lower cadres are motivated to follow their bosses in the expectation of being ‘rewarded’ with the opportunity to attend a lucrative workshop. Bosses, in turn, are loyal to their superiors for fear of losing attractive benefits associated with foreign trips and positions on the boards of parastatals or high level working groups. Allowances thus create obedience and allow dissent to be easily spotted and punished.

The downside of the TKPs reliance on allowances is that a culture has emerged where work evolves around creating opportunities for yet another workshop, training or trip. Delivering services has become of secondary concern. Loyalty clearly comes at a price. A price the TKP is happy to pay by the way.

The culture of allowances is so widespread that these days even university students demand allowances to ‘sit’ for lectures. The benefits are so lucrative that civil society –those who constantly moan and groan about the TKP, remain silent on this issue. They prefer to benefit from its spoils rather than to address it.

The power of allowances in forging loyalty to the TKP is well illustrated by the inability of opposition MPs to make any real progress on the issue. They make a lot of noise, certainly, but that is about it. This is what makes the current debate so amusing. Only one extravert youngster has dared to state publicly that he prefers not receive the allowances due to him since he is already paid! No other person has joined him. No MP, no journalist and no NGO employee!

Another great thing about allowances is that most expenses are covered by our foreign friends: the donors. In their mistaken belief that services are not delivered because our civil servants lack ‘capacity’ they organize a never-ending stream of workshops and training events. And in their zeal to show ‘results’ they pay civil servants to attend, so that their events are well visited. In this way service delivery continuous to be undermined creating even more need for ‘capacity building’. I love it. It allows the TKP stays in power while spending huge amounts of other people’s money.

Dar Sketches Is Now Available

Good morning! At the Green Room at Slipway on the inside of the Msasani Bay of the Peninsula in Dar es Salaam city, Tanzania, you will find this here book:


Please: go out and buy it. It is a labor of love, a love letter to the city of Dar es Salaam, and a coffee table book that will impress everyone who glimpses it with your cultural savvy. It will make you richer, slimmer and smarter and irresistibly charismatic. This book will give you mojo, along with a dose of that laid-back Bongo Cool you've always wanted. Go get your copy and support your Bongo creatives! And then pass by Sarah's to let her know how lovely you think the final product is :)

If/when we throw the party, I'll let you know.

The Weekly Sneak: Education

Why not? I like invented traditions and honestly it allows me to look like I'm blogging when really I'm getting two pieces for the price of one. Dodgy, but fun. So here is this week's preview paragraph for next week's East African article:

"Still, the underlying point is a poignant one: what they are really asking is how can they hope to get out into the big bad world and earn a living without poverty rolling over them like a runaway upcountry bus. I do have an answer for those of us who are unemployed by our anorexic formal labor market: your creativity is your labor market advantage. Most of us are going to have to invent our jobs and ride our own brains on the journey from subsistence farming with a hand-hoe, to the bright lights and city smarts of the middle class lifestyle."

The idea came about during a conversation about jobs and youth and what Tanzanians could expect to happen in the next few years when we look at the combined effects of a population boom, a crapulent public education system and a future that rewards intellectual work and innovation rather than labor that can be mechanized. Somewhere along the line we agreed that individual creativity would provide the labour market, so to speak, that young Tanzanians are looking for. My twin then casually told me that there's no way I could present that argument in an article and make it work. And here I am, genetically programmed not to resist a dare...

Also, I wanted to expose an interesting behavior: I'm getting asked for money by strangers. Sigh. Look: I don't believe in hand-outs. Charity for good causes? Yes. Constructive help? Yes. Mentorship? Any time. Collaboration? Sure, as time and inclination permits. Hand-outs just because? Not so much. I hope we're clear on that. If you don't like it, you can always report me to the socialists ;)

And then there was Vodacom or Vodanet or Vodacell or whatever the hell they call themselves these days. When they rebranded this year, their campaign translated the English slogan of "Power to You" to "Kazi ni Kwako" for the local populace. Which doesn't mean remotely the same thing, and has been quietly grating on my nerves for months now. Typically Tanzanian of me, being intolerant of the cultural faux-pas. Their local staff must hate the corporation if they neglected to inform the (obviously clueless) marketing team about this one little thing. In comparison to the ads that Zantel is putting out there, Vodacom is only showing itself to be out of touch with their consumers and frankly uninterested in their customers. You'd think that Big Telecoms would have a clue. Apparently, not these guys.

Tell It Like It Is

One of the outcomes of blogging that has been an unexpected perk is the correspondence. Although the comments section on the blog remains quite modest, a number of readers have found gmail much more to their liking :) The one drawback is that between the power rationing and my own writing habits, there tends to be a bit of a time-lag between getting emails and responding to them. I'm working on shortening the response time, but at least I can pretty much guarantee that I do respond to all emails- that's the advantage of having a small blog.

In the meantime I thought I would give you a little info on what kinds of responses I get from readers, since that is the first thing that people ask me. With regards to the East African articles: don't worry, Big Brother hasn't come a-raiding Mikocheni looking for me. And He won't: Tanzania actually is a society in which free speech is tolerated if not necessarily encouraged. Don't take my word for it, try it yourself and see. Besides, the Kiswahili media is far more dangerous, and critical, than English media.

Responders profile: most of you who write in are liberals. Hello, tribe :) Always good to meet you. Some of you are decidedly ujamaa socialists. I'm sorry for your ailment, I hope you get better soon but in the meantime thanks for visiting. Gender dynamics: you are all of you male, except for that one lady who got in touch last week about blogging tips. In fact, you are all male and either in your twenties or fifty and above. It is such an intriguing phenomenon that I have to comment on it.

I am of course obsessed by female voice in public debate. While in Nairobi, someone pointed out that when "disempowered" "minorities" such as women are given an opportunity to express their opinions publicly, they tend to decline. I have no problem with that since the flip side of freedom of speech is the freedom not to speak. Enforced participation is so Ujamaa, you know? Not my cup of tea. And yet... this gendered silence is making me wonder what the situation is. Even the anonymous commentators who reveal themselves in face-to-face meetings are male. You're killing me, here, ladies. Tell me- is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable? A feminist blogger without female online companionship is a sad and pathetic thing to be.

That said, most of your correspondence is about politics and governance and what it does to your individual lives. We're all in this mess of a national project together, aren't we, and talk is therapy. Once in a blue moon someone gets in touch to feed me info about a cause close to their hearts: don't take it personally if I don't put your suggestion on the blog. Sometimes it is off-topic, sometimes I simply don't know enough, sometimes the information is compromized and sometimes it involves a fight that I have decided not to join. But I do try to respond anyways. So, you know, if you have something you want to say feel free to holler. If you use a female name you'll really make my day :)

So to conclude, I have to agree publicly here with fellow Mikocheni resident Kato Lukaija who has been emailing me his campaign to get the issue of male circumcision discussed in the print media. There is something a little bit coercive about the current drive to get men to circumcise so as to minimize the risk of HIV infection, although massive public health drives tend to have that approach. Still, you have a point sir: men are just as entitled as women to defend their bodily integrity and no one should chop anything off you that you intend to keep. Good luck with your endeavors, although you know that the papers will not print such well-researched, explicitly detailed argumentation about the advantages of the foreskin. Sadly, neither can I. Maybe you should start a blog...

Tanzania Blog Awards 2011: TMR Is a Contender

A couple of days ago I got an email telling me that The Mikocheni Report has been nominated for a 2011 Tanzania Blog Award in possibly two categories: best personal blog and best political blog. Excellent news to wake up to :)

I did ask a few questions when I got the email, just to get a feel of who is behind the initiative. Turns out that it is a reader-led project by a group of people who love the medium and want to boost blogging in Tanzania. A people's choice award, basically. Quite apart from the nomination, do check out the award website for the most comprehensive current blogroll I have seen in a long time, and please do look at the nominees in the various categories. There are a quite a few decent blogs out there and it will make your day better.

And sincerely: thank you to whoever nominated The Mikocheni Report. You have reminded me that just because the comments section is not on fire, it does not mean we aren't in the middle of a long conversation. I'll be putting the vote badges up later today, Tanesco permitting. High Five.

Sneak Preview, Again

I kind of had fun with the article preview last time, and My Lady of the Anticipating Smiles said she enjoyed it. So here is another sneak preview. Coming next weekend to an East African near you, some more budget talk and a little nostalgia:

"Ten years ago this would have been impossible to imagine: few of us under the previous regimes had a clue about what these parliamentarians of ours did with themselves. They were like exotic birds who migrated to roost in a mythical capital far, far away from Dar called Dodoma several times a year, where they would coo at each other in a language we weren’t likely to understand. The national budget was an even more obscure undertaking than Bunge, and something that we were happy to leave to the ones in charge. After all they supposedly knew exactly what they were doing. That must have been such a fantastic time to be a politician. Sure, you were likely poor but then you commanded respect."

Ah. Those single-party days must have been like some kind of golden past for the old cadres, eh? People bowing and scraping and "Mheshimiwa"-ring you to death everywhere you went. Nothing like these days when uncouth youth say silly things about you on the intertubes and nip at your heels in the newspapers. Damn those liberal democrats!