The King's Diary: The Importance of Fighting Corruption

Dear Me

I have come to appreciate the importance of anti-corruption work. The other day I used the TKP’s anti-corruption drive to purge from the party my biggest opponents. And last week, our donor friends offered $ 100 million in return for a long overdue anti-corruption report. Making money has never been easier!

The Kingdom has benefitted in many ways from this anti-corruption survey. First, when after many years of haggling the TKP agreed to the survey, we received good marks (i.e. money) from our friends. Then we refused to release the results for 2 years. Our friends got so frustrated that they offered big money if we did. So in a demonstration of sincerity I ordered the release.

After I ordered the release we tried to pull another trick by distinguishing between releasing in principle and when to release but this did not fly. So we published the report on a web link that does not function. But somehow the report did come out.

Not that it matters. There is hardly anything new in it. 86% of households consider the traffic police corrupt. Duuuuh. 73 percent believe that the judiciary is not fair or impartial. Oooooh. That compromising civil servants is an important way to maintain loyalty to the TKP and that this, in turn, keeps the country stable is something that donors fail to grasp. But never mind.

The survey did contain some useful information as well. 57% of households do not dare to report a corrupt act for fear of victimization or because they would not get protection. Good to know the TKPs system of repression remains effective!

As for next steps, with the report in hand I am going to ask the donors to address the corruption as identified. I did the same with the ICF, and received a lot to reduce roadblocks (sic). I am quite convinced that the donors will agree with me that major investments in computers and vehicles as well as elaborate ethics training and salary increases are likely to help bring down corruption. It will cost a fortune, but it’s worth it. Not?

Anti-corruption .... I love it.