The Weekly Sneak: For God's Sake

Eh. So My Lady of the Faithful Smiles likes to tell this story about how back in the 20th Century, when I was preparing for some Catholic Rite of Passage or other, I gave the sistren instructing me some grief. They were nice brides of Christ, from Mother Teresa's order: none of that crazy Catholic, pinchy, child-(expletive deleted) psychosis going on here. Apparently I asked them why I had never seen the Big Guy, Mister Number One, even though I used to watch out for Him whenever I took a plane ride.They warned M'lady that her child might be trouble.

Kids are awesome that way. They are natural scientists, which is why so many traditionalists believe in beating the thought out of them. Oh wait, I mean beating the obedience into them. Whatever. So to my delight my nieces have been secure enough to show intellect and doubt. The one asked me on a long ago busride why she hadn't seen God when flying. Another recently quizzed her daddy about how much water it would take to extinguish the sun? Ha! The clarity of the problem statement, the tentative hypothesis, the sheer amount of thought behind these queries!

So now, this kid in Tanzania a couple days ago was in an argument with his mate. Mate said: if you piss on this holy book, you're going to turn into a snake or something slimy and cold. Kid's like: no way. Mate: way. Kid: no, dude. Mate: try it. Kid:... alright. Result?:

"FFU water trucks were called out onto the streets in a bid to disperse a furious mob. Churches were burned. My goodness, we went there."

I don't know how folks are raising their kids these days, but peeing on books is simply unacceptable. More importantly, thinking that a 14 year old boy intended to insult the religion of Islam by accepting his Muslim friend's dare is ridiculous. Did I mention: Muslim friend, dare, 14 year old boys? Because it has to be said that there were two idiots involved in this crime. Let's not forget the one minor was arrested and taken for questioning- questioning!- after the incident. What are we putting in Mbagala's drinking water, heavy metals? For * sake, people. Show some sense. At least more than those dick-witted children.

The Weekly Sneak: Yeah, Alright.

I won't lie folks, this week I was thoroughly uninspired. There's just times when the news looks like more of the same and a girl has said everything she intends to say anyways. Case of the 'blahs,' you know. But since I like to play catch-me-if-you-can with my weekly EA deadline, I woke up this morning to a gift of a story. CCM has young-ified their upper ranks. Yay.

"Speaking of injecting more youth into the political process, CCM has just pulled a semi-expected move in the direction of revamping its upper ranks. There is something to be said about respecting term limits: somehow their impeding retirement from the pinnacle of Tanzanian political life makes our incumbent Presidents find the courage and determination they might have lost during the course of their reign. Anything is possible when you know the end is nigh. In the case of the fourth administration, I think it is worth commending this gesture of good will. The generational turn was bound to happen soon enough, and with this move much of the contentiousness of the process has been sidestepped."

So listen, I gotta come clean on this: never will I ever, ever-ever, get a CCM card. That said, I ain't intending to support the opposition neither for anything other than that which they are useful for. It varies. I like different parties for different things, if you know what I'm saying here. At the end of the (voting) day, until someone provides a viable alternative to CCM I intend to keep splitting my ballot like the reasonable Tanzanian that I am. Just thought I would pre-empt the rabid mob that thinks any comment on the GOP that lacks vitriol is a direct endorsement. Have an okay day, yeah?

The Weekly Sneak: A Little Provocation

I was reading this HuffPo story about this kid who is already politically articulate at the age of 12, and I thought that was pretty fantastic. Of course he's probably an exception, there's not many 12 year olds I know who are into politics but he did give me an idea. What if?

"What would happen if we lowered the voting age dramatically to, say, maybe 14? Or even 12? By that time most children have experienced some primary school, and if surviving school isn't an political education then nothing is. This suggestion probably sounds horrifying to most readers, but there might be something to it. Children are generally much better behaved than adults are, being used to the bottom rung of the social ladder. Their sense of fair play hasn't had much time to be corrupted by the world. They would infuse any democracy with some much-needed idealistic energy."

 I am only half doing this to mess with our notions of age-based hierarchy. I know quite a lot of greyheads (not all, but some) are going to clack their dentures together and say that I have finally lost it, poor child. But if we can make soldiers out of children, and we do so far too often on this continent, then why not make them voters? It isn't beyond the capacity of 12-14 year olds to choose between political candidates, folks that age have opinions. Young people are intensely perceptive and hardly moved by the same concerns that allow us older folks to be corrupted so easily. 

I was also inspired somewhat by my older nieces. The eldest one couldn't vote in the last election, but I thoroughly enjoyed hearing her trenchant views on the various candidates and she gave me invaluable intel about her constituency. The others are far too young as of yet, but judging by the level of inquiry they tend to subject me to I can't help but believe they would do a better job of grilling candidates than most journalists.

Besides which, its a suggestion that's putting an extreme spin on 'democracy'. I don't really know why we shouldn't allow young citizens to participate in elections especially as they are the most vulnerable group and suffer most from failures in the healthcare system, in the education system of which they are the primary users, etc. For the people, by the people, even if they're shorties.

The Free Speech Not-So-Special

Yes! Seven people participated directly in the poll thingy whatever invitation to participate I threw out into the e-pond a couple of weeks ago. I think that's... oh, wait, it's not a record for the blog. Between us, may I confess that I am proud of how dependably poorly these Mikocheni Report Polls perform? It's like a perverse love letter from the silent readership. Bless y'all.

So, the results: three of you think there might be something to some decent policing of the online dialogue. Two of you think it's a horrendous idea to even bring up and another two of you are dedicated fans of the domesticated bird. Finally, and most importantly, nobody voted for actual regulation of free speech online, not even for fun to bait this cranky liberal. Either that means you guys all rock, or it means the blog is only read by seven folk who have a liberal bent- both of which options spell happiness with a capital Freedom.

Erm... oh yeah, the caveats and other stuff. The poll on the right there is not statistically representative of anything at all except perhaps an abiding love for chicken. Live long and prosper. Also: special smushy kisses of gratitude to the folks who sent healing vibes my way. Y'all the reason why I occasionally get cool free stuff thrown in my direction. More about that next post, neh? Mwah.

Think Out Loud: An Online Experiment

Folks, life dealt me a bit of a bad hand about ten days ago which means that I am currently confined to the couch/bed until I can heal some broken bones. I had all these plans to spend the time thinking and writing and being productive- because that's what Capricorns do, obsess about work- but this hasn't materialized. Thing is, having learned the hard way that sometimes life wants you to stop and change directions, I listened this morning to The Quietness and It said to me: "Hey, blogging is about dialogue, right?" Right..." I answered. "Well then," said That Inner Voice Which Sounds A Lot Like Morgan Freeman*, "Stop being a one-woman showboat and try to get some dialogue rolling why don't you?"

Okay.

As I said on Mgahawa** this past weekend, one of the challenges of blogging is the near-lack of reaction or feedback from the readership- which makes the dialogue aspect of this work somewhat one-sided. I have had about four years to think on this issue and I understand some of the limitations. Some of them are mine, most assuredly: blogging in Engrish-is-not-Home isn't conducive to a broad discussion in Bongo. That said, this blog has benefited immensely from those who have reached out and written or reached out and spoken on various topics covered herein***.

So I would like to try something with your help, folks. I want to throw a question out there for you to answer whichever way you want to do it. It's a question whose answers might touch on issues of technology or globalization or policy or even political ideology. Email, video, graphics, audiofile, fingerpainting, anything is allowed. I will even put up a polling thingy on the right side of the blog for the week's experimental question. You can use the comments section or you can email me direct at elsieeyakuze at gmail dot com with instructions (do you want to be edited or not, posted or not, that kind of thing). Let's see how this goes, eh?

I have free speech in mind. To bring up Mgahawa again, one of the questions Omar posed was whether or not we should explore a way to control how people enter public dialogues online. This was particularly relevant in the Olympics this year, and affected the performance and in some cases the careers of several athletes. I want to hear from you: should we or should we not censor or attempt to control for the quality of public dialogues online using popular platforms?

*Listen, if you're going to hear voices in your head you can do worse than Morgan Freeman. And before you ask, my CT scan came out clear. :)

** A weekly program hosted by Omar Mohamed who is (finally!) on his way to becoming the broadcaster the universe intended him to be. Check it out, it's a good show.

*** Oh ye Facebook stalkers, you orators, you email correspondents of note whom I have so underserved: can I please, pretty please, post some of your excellent, humorous and thought-provoking musings on the blog? Please write. You know you want to.

The Weekly Sneak: Resource Schmeesource

For the first time in over one hundred and fifty something weeks, I missed my column deadline in the EA. I wish I could blame it on my bad karma, but it wasn't even that. It was a technical glitch- thanks, Gmail- compounded by a whole 24 hours spent offline. Perfect record: gone, just like that. But as my very nice editor pointed out: it buys me a week off, so, like, chill. Anyways, coming to an East African near you next week is this week's offering:

"Territorial disputes are nearly as boring to keep track of as footballers' careers, but I tried patriotically to have some – admittedly limited- interest in this particular one. The story that is emerging smacks to me of colonial baggage, avarice and no small amount of military restlessness. Even as I am of a mind to scoff at the thought of boys in uniform and their toys in matching camouflage getting excited about mud-wrestling over invisible lines, I am aware that there is a seriousness to these matters that should never be disregarded. Land is becoming a surprisingly valuable commodity in Tanzania, appreciating with every prospector who comes to scratch and sniff at what useful things might be lurking beneath."

If you've been keeping even half an eye on the regional news you'll have noticed that East Africa in general and Tanzania in particular is brimming with natural resources of all kinds. Oh, frabjous day, callooh, callay. Let me explain my disinterest thusly: resource curse. Stuff underground, especially in Africa, is usually a precursor to massive amounts of misery.

Take Tanzania, for example. If I thought there was even an inkling of a chance that those in public service were capable of engineering contracts that would squeeze every penny's worth out of our natural resources for the good of the collective, I'd say dig that stuff up right now (in an environmentally friendly way, of course). We could use our mineral wealth to jump start all kinds of development projects that would drive us into a glorious near-future. I might despise Dubai's tacky parvenu ostentation and Saudi Arabia's neanderthal gender politics BUT I do admire how the Arab nations transformed from nomadic desert tribes to ridiculously wealthy citizenry in the blink of a petroleum discovery. And let's not forget: they gave us Al Jazeera.

But our truth is that present day Tanzanian politicians lack the wherewithal to master our potential for the greater good. The political will is just about nil, and I don't doubt for a second that any and all can be bought by local and international "investors" for a couple thousand dollars, maybe a couple of million. Those that can't be bought... aren't anywhere near the wheeling and dealing, now are they? We're doomed by the petty hungers and limited ambitions of the men and women in short-sleeved suits.

And so I see two things coming out of our resource wealth in the near future. First, it will engender opportunistic greed in our friends and neighbors such as the Malawi debacle has shown. If in doubt, ask the Congolese how that mess works out. Secondly, may I drw your attention to the platinum miners in South Africa who have been thoroughly done over by their own police force for getting in the way of vested interests. Cautionary tale? Sure. It's not like Barrick has managed yet to quell for good the rumors of their malfeasance here in Tanzania. But let's not forget that for such gross inhumanities to take place the responsible government must be complicit. And ours is a government just writhing with excitement at the thought of being complicit, given the right price...

Vodacom Awards, The Blowback, Some Thoughts.

You'll notice I have put up the badge for the Vodacom Award for Digital Excellence right there on the right. Early days, so there's nothing to report with regards to the Fellowship on my side. Instead may I offer you some coverage from other sources:

1. The press release about the Fellows and the Awards.
2. The criteria on which Fellows were judged.
3. Some sweet love from a fellow stakeholder in the industry, because this is Tanzania and no event would be complete without it. My favorite passage: "Kwangu mimi, utoaji wa tuzo hizi, umekuwa ni mwendelezo wa usanii ambao umekuwa ukifanywa na kampuni hii katika kuhakikisha kuwa wanatumia udhaifu wa kisheria, weledi na mshikamano baina ya waandishi wa habari wa mtandaoni, kujinufaisha zaidi wao badala ya kuwanufaisha wanahabari hawa ambao ni wazi wamekuwa wakiwafanyia kazi kubwa sana."

Heh.

I mean, I understand some of the frustration. Not only was this not a popular award (it did not involve a voting mechanism that included a general public), it wasn't transparent (scoring was done by a shadowy cabal of experts in the field. They did not include the usual suspects since the usual suspects were probably eligible for the Fellowship, I suppose). Not to mention the diversity represented therein. But here's the trick: though the word 'Award' is used, this is in fact a Fellowship. Whole different ballgame.

While we're on the subject, a few people have raised the fact that there already exists a Tanzania Blog Awards. Why didn't Vodacom just sponsor that initiative instead of creating 'duplication?' Simple- they're different kinds of initiatives and hardly mutually exclusive. Perhaps they will merge in the future. I doubt it, corporations love their branding monopolies :) Perhaps Tigo or Airtel will creep up on the Bloggers' Award- which, incidentally, is driven by a nomination/voting mechanism. You can find the 2012 winners right here.

My concern is that there is an unnecessary separation between the English and the Kiswahili blogospheres, which is a shame as we could do so much more in a collaborative mindset. So far the Dar Bloggers' Circle hasn't been able to quite address this challenge to anyone's satisfaction, in spite of Biche's best efforts- and she's put a lot of excellent hard work into this. Suggestions warmly welcome, in the spirit of collective power. Let's make social media work for us, people. Kazi njema.

The Weekly Sneak: George Orwell Was Visionary

There are things that we're good at in Tanzania. Efficient administration isn't one of those things. For all the time we've had government, it has been on a slow downward spiral of decay into Byzantine inscrutability and chaos. Which is why Jay Kay looked so damn good about eight years ago. He was a Modern Man! He'd bring us the future, things would work, the economy would grow. Ari Mpya, Nguvu Mpya, Whatever Else Mpya. We were going to emerge triumphant, covered in newness, modern in every sense, as slick and plastic as a flat-screen TV! 

Well. I think the last eight years speak for themselves. My particular concern, as a nationalist, is what I perceive to be the encroachment of non-Tanzanian interests in our general politics. I don't mind that my Celebrident is so xenophilic- he did spend a huge chunk of his career as Minister of Foreign Affairs. He's got that great smile, he's photogenic. If he's the posterboy for Tanzania abroad, I am not going to complain. Look at what Kenya has to work with. But then again, this is international relations. Nothing for free. Exactly what kind of attentions, relationships and interests are we attracting in return for gifting the world with Jay Kay's scintillating company?

Perhaps... National Identity Cards? Listen: Tanzania has never ever been good at keeping basic information about her citizens. Our government knows who we are, when it needs to. As a liberal, I find that charming. Less is more, as it were. So where is this coming from, this NID business? Is it, like biometric passports, another gift from the American people? Is it conveniently going to help the powers that be keep track of everyone during the elections, in case they need to apply a little suppression or retribution for disloyalty to the Grand Old Party? Probably both. Either way, it's unwelcome. George Orwell was right, and we need to be more resistant to any efforts on the part of the state(s) to monitor or control us. Totalitarianism isn't just a right-wing flavor these days:

"It may sound extreme to call the NID project totalitarian in its politics, but that's the trouble with certain 'reasonable' requests to enforce administration. This is not a reciprocal relationship request, and it gives a touch too much power to the authorities. So we get cards today, with that assurance that it's good for us. Tomorrow every person with a gun will feel quite entitled to demand identification, if for no other reason than to exercise a little petty power of their own. We're going to become increasingly rigid and racist about notions of citizenship- any non-Bantu, anyone with a funny accent or a poor grasp of Kiswahili will be targeted. It's going to give our creeping xenophobia manure on which to flourish."