The Passions of Old Soldiers

So with the fall of Ghaddafi, my interest in the peculiarities of African despots has been reignited. One of the duties of an accomplished African despot is to develop a quirk that is so...so... well, that it leaves observers speechless. It is hard to outdo the ones who have gone before, between Mobutu and Bokassa the standard has been set extremely high. But this is a vast continent with many countries and there are plenty of interesting behaviors to be observed. Obvious things like gold fixtures in the palace bathrooms are de rigueur and cannot win you points- one must aim for originality where possible.

Not all artistic yearnings must be vulgar either: I just found out today by eavesdropping on some folks' Twitter conversation that Museveni apparently sings to his cattle*. And that he does so slightly ineptly. The thing about despots is that you have to resist the urge to humanize them because then you start rolling down the slippery slope of empathy... but this is a rather appealing hobby to have. Not to mention stylish: it takes a certain cultural refinement to embrace difficult and dying old artforms. Sigh.

Ghaddafi, on the other hand. What a disappointment. It's like we've seen this movie before: the tasteless palace, the defiant son, the delusions of grandeur, the parting of company with reality. For a guy who has literally pitched his tent everywhere to the delight of people who appreciate small acts of defiance, I was expecting something really rather interesting. But not this interesting. Ghaddafi's crush on Condoleeza Rice was... is... wow. And here I thought the Jheri Curl was the worst of it.

A man's image cannot survive certain revelations about his character.

*Cattle singing is a gorgeous old practice with a whole history behind it and I have always wanted to know more. Anyone know of resources out there?

Links in Education, the Arts and Politics

It's time to close some tabs on my overloaded browser. Here are links I've been keeping open for the day I could get back into my blogging chair:

Education: Twaweza have put out a report on the state of education in Kenya, Tanzania and Uganda. It's not pretty by any means across the board, but Tanzania is particularly dismal. I honestly cannot imagine what this means for industry and labor in the coming decade or two. On the other hand, here is an inspiring short video of a talk given Ken Robinson (via La Bomz) about what education could look like if it worked for the student rather than The Man.

Writing: Binyavanga Wainaina is back on the scene! If you have never read him you could start with the Granta article that propelled him onto the international stage, but really "Discovering Home" is a gorgeous piece. I hope he never mellows. And then there's Tolu Ogunlesi who conveniently self-publishes online. He's a fantastic poet. Best of all he's prolific so there is plenty of Original Content backlog to work through.

Politics: Apparently M7 is being a bit cagey about his age. And he got a protest birthday party to celebrate the fact. There is something quite stylish about the way Ugandans go about their protests, I have to say. Over here, rumors of protests against the power rationing have emerged and fizzled out with some regularity- at least we are consistently inconsistent. I did enjoy how January Makamba (CCM-Bumbuli) has taken charge of the Tanesco debate in the past week in the papers via a well-crafted blogpost. Speaking of which, Edward Lowassa is back in the newspapers after condemning Kikwete's government for indecisiveness. I found the positive reactions quite interesting...

Final Terms: "We need to keep loving one another."

First of all, my heartfelt condolences to those who lost friends and family in Kampala bomb attacks that took place during the World Cup Finals this past Sunday. This is the third big terrorist attack on a major East African city, after the 1998 bombings. Yesterday's Citizen had this to report on Museveni's first public reaction :

'Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni has vowed to crush the militant Somali group al Shabaab group, which has claimed responsibility for last Sunday's twin bomb attacks, which killed 74 people in Kampala. "We are going to go on the offensive and go for all who did this in al areas, starting here." [...] President Museveni also appealed to Ugandans not to target the Somali community in the country, saying they had nothing to do with last Sunday's bombings. 'Some people may interpret the tragic events on Sunday, but Somalis living here are part of the system.'

We do need to keep loving one another, as Jay Kay said to parliament yesterday. Some things only get better with translation.

World Cup post-mortem? Not so much. Spain won. Okay. Africa... well, South Africa really... proved to the World what We (They) are Capable Of. I was impressed- I honestly thought there would be some trouble with crime but it was not so. I don't know what the SA authorities did but it worked! Zuma was on the tube yesterday talking to some talking head somewhere overseas and he hinted at the Olympics as the next South African target. High Five.

The election season has finally kicked off. Jay Kay has selected his running mate, Mohamed Gharib Bilal, an (old) soft-spoken scientist-turned politician and one-time Chief Minister of Zanzibar. Meanwhile, the other (old) soft-spoken scientist turned politician, Dr. Shein, is CCM's candidate for the Zanzibar Presidency, running against CUF's (old) candidate Maalim Seif Sharif Hamad. It's a gerontocratic Vice-Presidential-Chief-Ministerial Merry-Go-Round. No sign of Chadema presidential aspirations. The others? UDP, DP, TLP, NCCR-Mageuzi? Meh. Let's not even raise the specter of CCJ. This is going to be an one-horse race.

Of course, the real game is in the parliamentary and council elections. Jay Kay's address to the outgoing parliamentarians was... well, interesting. My Lady of the Crooked Smiles thinks he's shown signs of personal growth over the past five years. Teachers, eh. To me, it sounded like a bit of a cop-oyt. It's going to be very interesting to watch a couple of promising young(er) politicians handle their first time running, as well as keep an eye out for major upsets as greyheads get pushed out- hopefully- by some serious competition :) Will the coming Bunge contain more thinkers and doers and fewer sluggish, corrupt, entitled, ancient, ineffective, apathetic money-sinks? Hope so.

The Best Housekeeper in The World, meanwhile, is keeping me appraised of the shenanigans that local government is indulging in on the streets. She was barred from a 'rally' meeting the other day because the candidate was CCM and she isn't a card carrying member. Her neighbors who were card-carrying members attended the meeting and got 5000 TShs for their trouble- roughly three dollars. Le sigh. None of the opposition parties have resources to compete with such flagrant 'grassroots mobilization.'

The Pan-African Thing.

It is not politic to be anti-Pan Africanist. I know this. And for my sins, I was soundly rebuked recently when I was informed that "You might not need Pan Africanism, just as Pan Africanism doesn't need you." And here I am soundly rebuked again.

Bring it.

If it makes folks happy to come together under the African shade tree of their own free will, I got no beef with that. Part of the fun of World Cup 2010 is watching the pervasive marketing scheme, ati "Africa's World Cup" complete with celebrities* flown in from across the continent and the world (mostly black, of course) to help celebrate things with a nice cultural mash-up. But didja know that Africans have, like, the worst record for intra-continental travel? Those of us who can afford a certain lifestyle would rather go to London or New York for recreation than, say, Cairo or Antananarivo...

Anywho, my problem is with imposed collectives, which is why for example the East African Federation doesn't work for me. Especially not with Museveni's extremely naked ambitions to crown hisself King of East Africa if he's given half a chance. Likewise, the African Union idea is being peddled hardest by... Muammar Ghaddafi? Um, no thanks?

These things don't need to be forced, especially not when the major agenda behind political collectives is to stroke the egos of some imperially-minded Presidents For Life. We've been doing modern nation-states for all of half a century, and the relative frequency of explosive political situations all around indicate to me that we're still finding our feet. This One Africa business will best be engineered by private sector initiatives (like Zain's really useful multi-country thingy) and regular folks travelling around for school, for jobs, for business. I figure we'll get there in a healthy manner, especially if the political collectivists stop trying to push us around.

*You know what wasn't right? Having superb musicians like Bra Hugh and Femi Kuti on the stage for 30 seconds only during the opening ceremony and then letting that R Kelly guy do a whole song. Puke.