Yes.

Opened my inbox this morning to a wonderful email with very specific instructions:

"Hi Elsie,

...I'm writing to ask whether you could add a 'subscribe by email' feature to your blog to make it easier for me - and I'm sure other - interested readers to follow you.

Thanks!"

My pleasure, reader. And thanks for the great suggestion.

Update: The Mikocheni Report is Still Reporting from Mikocheni

Whew. I apologize for the ridiculous silence. What happened was that in the first quarter of 2012, it was looking as though the Mikocheni Report might turn into the Kijitonyama Report, or the Masaki Report, due to some...er...housing market instabilities combined with inflation and the obligatory evil landlady. Let's just say that transience/squatting had a depressing effect on my productivity and leave it at that.

The good news: by one of those ridiculous serendipities (and some hustling and unexpected boons) that only seem to happen in Dar, I totally got hooked up with a new hen pen...roughly 300 meters from the old hen pen. Heya! In fact, perhaps even a Hallelujah!

So the Mikocheni Report stays the Mikocheni Report. And she's back online. Thanks for your patience.

Pending Improvements and Other Social Media Stuff

Year's end, doing a bit of work on the blog and thinking about what to improve. I know there's a lot to do: you have been very patient with what is clearly a rather amateurish approach to graphic design and I appreciate that. As is tradition on this blog, you are cordially invited to share your thoughts as 'stakeholders'. Heh. If you have comments or suggestions please inbox me/use the comments section.

There are a few cosmetic changes for now. The Zanzibari balcony was soothing as a header, but it had to go. Now up is one of my favorite pictures of all time, a beautiful mural created by a collective of artists aged between toddlerhood and the very early double digits. I am fairly certain that it is a landscape, and the giraffe is a rather inspired depiction. Enjoy.

I also put up the Tanzania Blog Award badges that I scored this year. The fact that the TZ blog awards socmedian is possibly worse than me at design (imagine!) is an indicator that this is one seriously homegrown initiative. I am very proud of those badges, and thanks for voting if you did.

Weird Glitches

Folks: I have a policy of responding to every comment on the blog. It might take me some time, but I do get around to it on days when Tanesco is feeling generous towards Mikocheni Kwa Watu, which is not all that often. So today, having found the power on and wrestled with my ISP over whether or not the account was paid for, I sat down to get back to folks only to find that The Google is having interesting issues with Blogger.

If it ain't one thing, it's another.

Anyways, I apologize. I will keep trying to respond at some point and if you have been waiting I thank you for your patience. Might take me some time to get back to you. As for Udadisi and SN: y'all got jokes now, eh? Thanks for the concern. Tanesco isn't going to be the cause of death, this blog is unbwogable ;)

Alright. Back to the holiday.

...And the Winners Are:

Hi folks, so the results for the Tanzania Blog Awards are out. TMR didn't do too badly, all things considered. Thanks to the readers who voted, and remember to check out the blogs that were put up for nomination so that you can support the Bongo blogosphere. By next year hopefully we will see some more new and interesing URLs up there.

And in other news, here is a correction from Kate Bomz about the post I wrote on BarCamp accrediting the right people for organizing this watershed event:

"Great post. "Google's Barcamp Dar es salaam" is incorrect Barcamp Dar is not a Google event, though it was sponsored by Google along with other companies which we greatly appreciate. Also, the event was organized by team members with various backgrounds, just not techbots..."

I should have known la Bomz had something to do with it :) Anyways, apologies: any incorrect information imparted was certainly the fault of the blogger, who couldn't seem to figure out what the what was. Of course, having Google at a conference is a bit like having The Hulk at a kiddie party- tends to draw some attention.

How Did Easter Get Here So Fast?!

Easter weekend is upon us, and every year I try to get out of Dodge for some RnR. Clear the head, forget the smell of petrol fumes- that kind of thing. This year is particularly generous- with Tuesday a public holiday it feels like school has been let out for the long holidays :) So I'm off to Tanga to see what's happening in that wild and crazy party town.

And of course I missed my third blogiversary. Again. Which means that it is a tradition to do so (I totally love invented traditions). Missed it might be, but it must still be celebrated. I'm going to put the snarkage aside here and say a few things:

1. Thank you for reading. In all sincerity. Oh, we writing types, we write and most of us are guilty of hiding our works under a rock of insecurity, not believing that our written voices have a place in the cacophony of the world, convinced that we're atrocious at it but compelled nonetheless to write. In this age of over-achievement, it is especially hard to imagine anyone bothering to stop by your musings when there's so many more out there who are far better at marketing themselves, who are far more well-regarded, who are far more talented. But when the hit meter tells you that someone is reading anyways, a piece of life's pure gold falls into your lap. So, thanks for that.

2. Original Content: okay, I'm gonna get a little preachy here. Blogging is NOT akin to Tweeting, FB-ing, SMS campaigns or any other form of social media. Like the novel, or the three-act play or the Delta blues song, the shairi, the High Mass, the football game- it has a form. This form is tied to a history. Blog is the abbreviation of Weblog- originally a kind of online journal-keeping that could be shared at the author's will. Log: as in to document experiences, the subjective view of life from one tiny human perspective, to the best of your ability, in order to bathe in and hopefully contribute to the ever-flowing river of (written) human discourse through time. Whatever iteration of blogging you are into, if you blog, do respect one tiny thing: the blog demands that you be there in person. It is still a writer's craft, a creator's platform. And Original Content will always remain the foundation, the soaring archways and quiet cathedral sanctity of this medium.

3. Have a great super-long weekend, and if you're in Bongo: may the potholes on the way to your house not flood too badly.

Housekeeping.

Thanks to La Dee and Steve: I understand that the link from the Christmas Allegory post is irretrievably broken. Fickle intertubes. I have gone back to the source email and found another link that should work. Holler if it doesn't.

Next: I have been heavily caned by a couple of readers - yes, you Silent Mob - about my volte-face viz Jay Kay. Just want to point out a few things: this is not a change of heart on my part so much as an admission that I cannot justify holding on to my optimism in the face of evidence to the contrary. I still like the individual- sorry :) While I intend to hope against hope that my man Jay to the Kay will surprise us all with a magnificent unleashing of his hidden potential in the next few years, let's just say the odds have changed. Eat crow? Bring it. Me loves the flavor.

And also, more feedings back: I have been notified that the occasional political headtrips into theoryland can get a bit tedious. You know, I have to agree. I'll try to ease up a bit on that when I remember to do so and use words with fewer syllables*. But I can assure you that however annoying, the headtrips are a permanent, if occasional, feature of the blog. In so far as they serve to muse on some issue publicly and invite discussion, and they give an outlet to the "political is personal" they're not going anywhere. Still, am amenable to suggestion: if you want to see more or less of a certain kind of content/topic on TMR, just let me know.

*even though I know you can understand all the Big Words, sunshine :) heh.

One Year, One Month and Seventeen Days...

That's how old The Mikocheni Report is, and I missed the blogiversary... again. What can I say, it's turning into a tradition.

I was going to wait until after Christmas to write up the blog's performance as promised. But. I have this pending assignment and I would rather have my toenails torn out than face the draft report again, know what I mean? So here's me procrastinating.

First up, some numbers. I have the use of three blog trackers, one in-built and two free. None of their numbers match on a day-to-day basis but they do give me some relatively similar information on performance. Yes, you read right. Three trackers. I am anally retentive that way. Here are some highlights:

- Visits: Tracker One says 11,771 hits and 7,441 visits* since January 2010. Tracker Two says 7,402 page loads and 4,210 unique visitors since July 2010. In-built tracker says 11,352 page loads since May 2010. Having very little ambition, I think those are great statistics!**

- Popular posts: Tracker One says that the TEDxDAR post on Modesta Mahiga is the most popular with 145 hits since January 2010. Tracker Two is not equipped to deal with this data. In-built Tracker tells me that Elections 2010, Social Media got 146 hits since May 2010.

- Where y'all from? Turns out that most of my readers have Tanzanian ISPs. Tracker One says that 39.9% of you are resident in Tanzania, followed by 23.6% in the U.S. and 6.38% in the UK. Tracker Two is constrained to 500 entries but it reflects a similar pattern: 51.6% from Tanzania, 20% from the U.S. and 5% from the U.K. In-built tracker doesn't give percentages but the top three countries are: Tanzania, followed by the U.S. followed by the U.K. in similar proportions.

- And for a little fun: Tracker One tells me that 68% of y'all using Windows, 23% using Mac and 33% y'all using Firefox followed by 30% on Internet Explorer and 19% on Safari. Tracker Two ain't equipped to deal with this kinda thing. The In-built tracker says that 74% of you use Windows, 20% use Mac with 34% on Explorer and 31% on Firefox and an impressive 16% on Chrome.

Okay, conclusions. First: there are more readers of the blog than I would ever have expected, to be honest. Second: the graphics aren't as horrible on a Mac, for ya'll laboring with a decrepit Windows machine. Just saying. Third: y'all love you some Modesta Mahiga :) Fourth: readers outside of Tanzania are concentrated in prime areas of the Tanzanian diaspora: the US (East Coast) and the UK. Also, big up to the significant minorities: readers in Canada, Kenya, Scandinavia, Norway, Switzerland and India. Hello, friends.

Major big-up: the reader(s) in Russia who have inboxed me some of the most fascinating Tanzanian-Russian political analysis it has ever been my pleasure to read. My goodness, you guys. You rock. But why y'all been so quiet lately?

Which brings me to the most important thing: you.

I "outed" my blog because a cantankerous friend of mine wouldn't stop nagging and nagging and nagging me about doing better. So I did. And then I met blog friends. And artist friends. And I found perfect steak. I got contacts, content, professional opportunities and intense conversation. I got laughter, and a wee bit of stress, but mostly I got some incredible and unexpected support and a platform from which to speak my sarcastic mind.

If I were to go into the debt of gratitude that I owe my readers, my friends, my blogfriends and all of you who have challenged me and given me content and made it all more than worthwhile... well, this would have to turn into a Hallmark movie. So I'll keep it simple.

Thank you, so very much. I hope you keep reading. I hope you keep commenting. I wish you the very best for the holiday season, and the coming year.

*The difference between hits and visits is that hits can come from anything: webcrawlers, wetware, misguided souls and various internet ghouls. Visits, however, occur when someone deliberately clicks on your blog/link and then spends some of their time reading your content. So visits are the human subset of hits. Also: every tracker has it's own jargon. Go figure.

** I was planning to put up pictures of the blog trackers and then realized that I couldn't be bothered. It's December in Dar es Salaam. Enough said :)

Now We're Talking.

Been keeping off the political pipe these past few weeks for a couple of simple reasons: 1) with this stuff it's best to be "first out the gate" by live blogging or live tweeting an actual event for netizens and 2) analysis is overcrowded at this time as we commentators scramble to either gloatingly point out that we were right, or revise our horribly erroneous predictions. Might as well sit back and let the post-election thinking percolate until we're all sipping from the same pot of freshly-brewed spin.

Still, some pretty interesting developments: The cabinet is even more laughably huge than the previous one, which will only make it more ineffective, not less. A meeting with 50 people- tena Tanzanians who must be praised for the ability to have three opinions for every single issue- in attendance? Oh yeah, I want to see that "decision-making" in action. Also, this cabinet's hamstrung in that it comprises a mix of technocrats with demonstrated success and political deadweights to whom favors are evidently owed. Good luck with that, Mzee Pinda.

Meanwhile, on Saturday I watched live on ITV as Hamad and Mbowe chewed the beef* that's been brewing between our two largest and best-organized opposition parties. If nothing else, the debate left no doubt in viewers' minds as to the differences between different political parties. We've gotten used to treating opposition as one big undifferentiated block- hopefully that's going to change as we realize that ideology matters. As do grace in defeat, and a good grasp of the tools of governance, such as the legal system. Si, we wanted competitive multi-party democracy? Heh.

As an aside: this is why I don't do parties. I have a perfectly wonderful MP who is unfortunately for me hauling around the stinky baggage of belonging to a party that is slowly and publicly losing it's sense and it's dignity. I don't think that party politics make sense in this century, and I don't think they make sense in Tanzania. Give us free. Independent Candidates by 2015!

I have said before that it's generally not a good idea to get into a public political argument with Mr. Hamad and sure enough when he lost grip of his temper things got... both erudite, and lively. I do love a serving of drama to go with my politics, and it was amusing to watch grown-ass Tanzanian men get into a shouting match at the Movenpick. The moderator wore the expression of a skinny youth trying to wrestle a deadly python into submission. ITV had to take a loooong commercial break. I wish I had made some popcorn before the show began...

A recent string of interesting articles from Mwananchi suggest that Jay Kay's second term might be more of the same, just as he promised. Lack of focus, messy policies, unwieldy public sector compromised by political shenanigans, self-contradictions galore and politics of performance. Perhaps somewhere in that disaster zone we call government, there is a critical mass of public servants trying to do things right.

My Lady of the Cynical Smiles passed by today and we had a proper-good intergenerational political "discussion" that was thoroughly satisfying to all involved. She did leave me with one final knotty problem though: since the current system (and by implication, her generation of public servants) is rotten, who is going to inherit the structures of power and reform them to work for the good of all Tanzanians? I have a few people in mind. Feel free to throw down some names in the comments section.

*Hehe. These days Bongolanders are quick on the trigger finger with that YouTube! Preserving embarrassing moments for posterity... man, I love this town.

Web Crawl.

Good times in the offline world, fuelled by copious amounts of quality time, food and movies. God Bless Mnet Movie Magic. But a couch is not for surfing alone, and I have been crawling through various social media accounts. Here's the haul from my web crawl thanks to netiverse friends links:

There'a a Book Slam happening this Wednesday Evening. The message from Shurufu:

"Hello Friends,

I would like to invite you all to a Book Slam event, a literary evening with readings by the artist, architect and writer Nadir Tharani, the novelist Louise Hoole, the writer Morris Mwavizoand the publisher Walter Bgoya.

The place? Saffron Restaurant. The time? 7.30pm - 11pm. The date? Wednesday, 24th November."

Bring your mellowness along, it's going to be a good one. And to whet the appetite, a nice bit of writing on Pamzbazuka about some of the themes of contemporary African literature. And the Dar Sketches book will be out soon.

One of my favorite unexpected politicians has a great article in the 500th Edition of the New African. Very nice ruminations on women, leadership, in the African context- cover story I believe. And here's another TED event that looks fantastic. Wonder if there's TEDMen and TEDTeens in the pipeline.

Speaking of the special characteristics of African politics- Binyavanga Wainaina's back in fighting form. In development, Chris Blattman asks a pertinent question about the urge to collectivize NGOs. The Undead Aid question rears it's head: is it maybe good? is it definitely bad? is that a political question?

Here's an interesting piece of news from the public health sector- World Aids Day is around the corner. And this is just a bit of fun.

I never like to pass up a chance to show off some Tanzanian gorgeousness. This video's not the common or garden variety effort either. And for the belly? Early times, but the Black Tomato is looking good. An establishment that serves crispy Belgian style pommes frites is taking its food very seriously. Also, it looks like Zenji might be budding as the Swahili Coast foodie haven. Then again, there's lots of really good stuff stashed on the isles... it's just that kind of place.

On social media- here's some recognition for Ushahidi's work. And here's a very interesting article about social media in Tanzania, more comprehensive than the average effort. Some food for thought on the Fourth Estate, courtesy again of Shurufu. It's interesting to watch the industry struggle for it's soul and identity in the 21st century...

Still "avoiding" politics but I gotta say... so far it looks like this is going to be a very lively term in the legislature. Walk-outs, using the parliamentary canons instead of the oral vote, accusations of machinations coming from all sides. Good times.

November? Already?

Um, I'm taking a little break again...

Yes, I know I keep saying that, but this time I really am going to take it easy for a while. You may have noticed that the blog has gone a bit squirrelly on me: that header needs to be wrestled down to size, and there are some interesting font choices and missing punctuation marks to fix. Gotta do some spring cleaning on the blogrolls, refresh them and visit blogfriends to read and get up to speed. Hunt around, see if there's anything new. Besides, this is my traditional holiday month: not-quite-December but just as mellow.

It's going to kill me to sit down and be quiet about the Speaker thing, and about the new Cabinet, and other stuff. But I'm gonna step away from the politics and concentrate on chilling out, and maybe doing some art/food/other interests posts if I get the mental shakes from withdrawal. And then sometime in December, maybe, I'll get around to doing a year-in-review like these guys did. What a great application of the principle of transparency.

But first I gotta stop squirming and jumping around and actually deal with the sadly neglected offline life. So I'm grounded, for a little disciplinary down time and so that I can do my offline life homework because it's overdue. Sniff :( Later, amigos.

Hiatus.

The Mikocheni Reporter is taking a break to handle a pleasant and important family event. So, I'll see you sometime next week. Or around voting day. Peace and Wisdom.

Meantime: It's your country. Vote like you own it.

The Twitter...

Some people, like My Lady of the Youthful Smiles, adapt to new communications technologies and formats with the ease of a fish taking to water. I am not one of those people. I can just about get around the interwebs unassisted, but some forms of social media/tech are not in the least bit intuitive for me. Like The Twitter and Smartphones.

I was recently asked about The Twitter phenomenon by a non-user and found myself in the bizarre position of trying to explain/sell it when I myself am at best a lukewarm convert and remedial user.

Yeah, yeah, I know. How can a social media user/blogger/whatever be so useless at this stuff? I don't mean to be, it's just that 140 characters of 'space' feels like being offered a small shot glass of lukewarm water when I have a raging thirst. Also, I have a low connectivity threshold. Still, it is one of the Big Three for social media practitioners (Blog, FB, Twitter) and cannot be avoided entirely.

Which is why I was delighted to see this. No matter what your problem is in life, someone else is going through it :) Anywho, was doing some research to help me navigate the hashtag-riddled world of twitterese and found this resource. Strange neologism and ridiculously indecipherable acronym I fear thee no longer, for I have The Google and The Wikiverse on my side. Mwahahahahahahaaaaa!

Closed for Maintenance.

The plant needs it. See you soon.

Two Years...

...One hundred and twenty seven posts. One makeover. The ability to hyperlink in my sleep, and an addiction to ellipses.

Blogging has been a revelation- you never know what's going to come of putting cursor to screen and pressing 'publish post.' Thanks for reading, commenting, lurking, feeding back, teaching, encouraging and challenging. The communion, the catharsis and most especially the laughs make it all worthwhile.

Sadly, the perfect steak continues to be elusive, as does the uninterrupted power supply and the political party of choice. Which just means I'll have to keep on truckin'.

Blog Tanzania!

Julius Malema, Film in Tanzania and That Damn Question.

The stuff that passes for movies made in Bongo? Kill. me. now. It hurts to see so much energy and raw talent go to waste because of a laissez-faire attitude. So it was with incredible pleasure that I stumbled across this critical and informative piece on Doc. Faustine's blog. More, please?

You know, my imaginary South Africa (the one with a non-existent crime rate and a Nandos at every street corner and Kiswahili is an official language too) is my Happy Place. So I like to imagine that the real South Africa will keep its shit together. But, you know: The violent xenophobia. Then, Jacob Zuma. And now, Julius Malema . What is really creepy is that the ANC has Zuma and Malema in crucial leadership positions. The ANC! Wait... is that the sound of yet another revolutionary party without a revolution going down the drain?

And finally, an exciting new blog by a bloggeress! And she's a sociologist too! Cherry on top. I like sociologists. A lot. Love them, really. Okay. Here is the caveat: I did spot That Damn Question about midway through my perusal. This is going to be an interesting ride. Most of all because Rasmus Hundbaek's (hope I got that right...) chosen topic is such a great one. And, you know, she's going to look at it with her sociologist eyes.

eGovernment, Uswahili and Manly Bosoms.

So Aida says to me: "... In a way the level of accountability in this country will only improve when we as citizen wake up to our responsibilities in this matter." I can't come up with a better way of summarizing the crucial point, whether talking about Presidential powers or donor 'responsibility' or even the selection of a candidate to back during elections. A citizenry that is awake is more likely to give rise to a robust indigenous civil society, and all the good that comes with that.

The TEDxDAR link is up, also found and put up some other interesting links. Want to know what CUF's official position is? Want to know whose hands Jay Kay has been shaking this week? Click on over. Corporate political blogs are an exciting thing, I think, and although there are only two so far you can bet I will be on the lookout for some more. And, for the terminally obsessive who might just read a Hansard if it came their way, I have included the Bunge site. In the interest of balance, if there is anyone who should be represented be sure to let me know the URL in the comments section.

On a different tack- the term 'Uswahili.' Pejorative? Reclaimed? Racial slur? Class issue? No big deal? Its a loaded word, to be sure. Recently in a meeting that brought together Tanzanians of different walks of life, I noticed that users of the term were corrected more than once and encouraged to say either 'Uswazi' in reference to informal urban housing areas, and 'wananchi' instead of 'Waswahili.' Jenny B Colls has a whole blog dedicated to the issue...

And for those who enjoy the occasional bodice ripper- Dear Author and SBTB, where books with heaving manly bosoms on the cover are critically examined by readers who love them.

...and some other stuff that's crossed my radar this weekend

Tanzania is at the Pan African Film Festival this month! Weakness, written (yup, his script!) and co-produced by Abdu Simba and directed by Wanjiru Kairu will be screened on Friday 12th February and Saturday 13th February at the Culver Plaza Theatres in LA. If you go, tell all about it.

So, remember back in 2007 when the prestigious Technology, Entertainment, Design (TED) Global Conference came to Arusha bringing together thinkers and innovators from around the world and (ahem) Tanzania? Oh, you didn't go either? Well, the good news is that a band of Bongolanders are organizing a TEDxDar event that will take place on May 22nd. Link to the website coming soon. In the meantime, the TED website is an excellent place to procrastinate. It beats forwarding odious Cute Kitten/Prayer Chain/Health Scare /My Cause emails to your exasperated friends, although that can be fun too...

My favorite purveyors of shiny electronic toys, Apple, has finally fallen off the edge of the product-naming cliff. Just a month ago, they were so cool and smart and soulful (yes, and businessminded) that I could condescend to my PC friends with confidence. This year they give us...the iPad. Thanks Steve, its going to be fun carrying one of those around the office.

A few new links

I have finally gotten around to updating the Blog Tanzania! blogroll, with an emphasis on the female bloggers. Don't worry, its not all estrogen up in there, but having toured the male bloggers' blogrolls I did notice that gender-based selectivity is the norm. Who am I to disagree?

There is some mild food porn, plenty of media/political commentary and one blogger who has a visual narrative thing going on. Sarah Markes' newborn Dar Sketches is the right link for you writers living in Dar es Salaam- mentioned her book project in this post. The blogsearch continues.

Some days I can barely refrain from telling you what I had for breakfast which is why Twitter could be dangerous... and other Kitchen Sink Drama

I was recently lucky to get some essential tips on blogging from Pernille, the talent behind Louder than Swahili a couple of days ago. As she took us on a whirlwind tour of the powers of social media I couldn't help but focus on questions of style and substance. While there are many tricks, widgets and thingamabobs out there that can help a blog along and increase readership, it is ultimately the blog's content that will sell it. At least, that's what I chose to take from the lesson.

Naturally this made me think about the performance of Tanzanian fem bloggers, voice and representation. While my blog roll is shamefully empty of sistren, there are several out there. However, a quick blitz through the internet will show that most people blogging in Tanzania are menfolk. And as a rule we Tanzanian bloggers tend either towards political reportage/commentary, or social noticeboards masquerading as blogs. Original Content is a little harder to come by although some online political commentators certainly write reams of the stuff.

I am beginning to think about how blogging is subject to gender, how this affects the selection of content and overall style. This blog is inspired by a particular movement in food blogging that blends introspection with the love of a particular subject, the best of which has writers who should really be published. There was decidedly more passion than commercial sense in this introspective style, which is still dominated by women. If you have the right project at the right time you can make money off this sort of thing, and some have hit the big time, but ultimately this kind of blog is offering kitchen sink drama, which is some of the best kind.

So, my covenant with readers is that everything you find here is Original Content- the words, the pictures, the mistakes, the TMI, the snark, the aesthetic, the opinions and politics. As some bloggers know, in this market that could mean crazy phonecalls from rabid jingoists, or theft of intellectual property. But that's part of the fun, and an indicator of success besides, right? Right? Right.